Author: Spirited Rose

Hello! It’s been a while … seven months have passed since writing my last blog post. I have missed writing and sharing our journey. I do have a very good reason though! Life has been busier than usual and slightly hectic in establishing my new organic hair and beauty salon in a small country town Loxton, South Australia.

The idea of opening a salon was not on my mind this time last year, as I was 100% committed to trying to conceive a baby and was content with working part time from home. It wasn’t until I booked an appointment with a beautiful lady she helped me reconnect with my inner voice, listen to my intuition & inspired me to start up a new buisness.

I discussed the idea with my mum on our way home then that night I couldn’t sleep, as I had ideas going through my head of starting up an organic salon. I was excited about it as no one offered that kind of service in our region, there was a gap in the market and good potential. In the morning I told my husband of my idea and his response was “that’s I good idea, you should do it.” He was just as excited as I was which made me happy to have his 100% support, I’ve had the dream since I was a teenager of having my very own salon.

I told my parents and they thought it was also a good idea along with my siblings and close friends. Having so much support helped me make my decision so much easier as I couldn’t have done it without them. I started to look at my options and found a shop front for lease however it took weeks for the landlord to respond so I looked elsewhere. When I looked at another premise avaliable to lease it must of been a sign from the universe, as it was perfect and it is exactly how imagined my salon to look today.

After anxiously waiting for a response from landlord, it was all good to go ahead. The hard work began, quotes for furniture, finance and all the goes with setting up a new buisness. The following six weeks were very busy with the last week being quite stressful, two trips to Adelaide in one week which were very long days with my car full to the brim. On the day before opening I was an emotional wreck, exhausted, nervous, excited and with so much to do. Being a perfectionist that I am, I didn’t make it any easier for myself.

Seven months later and business is going really well, I have received a lot of positive feedback and my clientele continues to grow. I am happy to provide a healthy alternative particularly to those who are sensitive or allergic to conventional colours. I feel in doing my part in contributing to a healthier community.

Opening my new salon not been easy however, like it is with starting any new buisness from scratch. My usual day is twelve hours long with one hour and half total traveling each day to and from work, mostly dirt roads with hardly any mobile phone service. At the end of a long day I love going home to the farm where it is peaceful quiet and I’m very grateful my husband is understanding and can do so much around the home when I’m not able to.

My social life has gone to the way side due to working most Saturday’s, I feel exhausted being the end of the week often I feel like just chilling out and relaxing at home. It can feel quite isolating and miss catching up with friends, but I’m sure as time goes on I will find more work life balance.

I believe children will come into our lives when the time is right, we have put so much time and money into trying to start a family and we had been focusing on it so much for the past four + years, it was only when the business opportunity come up it took some what a back seat.

In saying that we are still working with our wonderful fertility specialist naturopath to manage our health naturally, I need to be energised, healthy & have a strong immune system now I have my own business, after all I can’t just call in sick and have a day off when I have appointments unless I’m bed ridden. Therefore I continue to be passionate about natural health and looking after your body and mind.

Opening up an organic salon has made me feel like I’m doing all I can to live a non toxic healthy life, as before I felt I was doing everything else right but my work was contra indicting my efforts being exposed to harmful chemicals and fumes.

It is important not to put life on hold waiting for something to happen, do what you have always dreamed of whether it be travelling, starting a business like I did, follow your heart and intuition and live life to the fullest.

Check out my new salon on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/bodhiandrose or Instagram @bodhiandrose.

Take care

xx Rosy

Firstly I’m going to be completely honest and say that the daily struggles of dealing with infertility or any health condition can be incredibly hard, I have learnt how to be both patient and resilient as it is a constant battle of emotional highs and lows. As for our own personal situation and many others there is are no exact reason to why my husband and I are unable to conceive naturally, the medical title commonly given to people is ‘unexplained infertility’. Initially we were happy that nothing was found to be wrong but then it quickly turned into frustration and that was where I started looking for more answers, see Our Story page for more details.

There has been a study conducted by the Harvard University in America that concluded women suffering infertility are as anxious or depressed as those diagnosed with cancer, hypertension or recovering from heart attack. There is always a lot of emphasis on women, however we must not forget that it can take an emotional toll on men, they can find it more so difficult than women to talk to others about their feelings. Therefore it’s important for both men and women to create a network of close friends and family where they can comfortably confide and express their feelings.

I like to approach my health in a holistic manner and I have discovered many ways look after my mental health by incorporating daily mindful practices such as meditation, yoga & EFT ( Emotional Freedom Technique) I will do a blog post on mind-body connection to discuss more detail in the future. 

For those going through the struggles of infertility often all they need is someone to listen, understand and provide support through out this difficult time. Speaking from personal experience, it is an emotional roller coaster and when insensitive comments are made it can strike a chord and bring up all kinds of emotions. I remember on many occasions where I have been given advice from people who truly mean well and I would just hold back on my thoughts, say nothing and agree with them. The only problem was that it would stay in my mind and play over and over, in the end I would get frustrated and end up in tears. My hubby would have to comfort me and then I would remind myself that they are not in our situation and most likely do not understand what they said was insensitive. It is like any personal struggle or crisis, unless you have walked in the persons shoes it is hard to relate to their experience.

Family and friends should not feel like they are stepping on egg shells or be afraid of what they can or can not say, like I said before the best advice I can give is to provide a listening ear as this is sometimes all your friend or family member may need.

Below I have complied a list of ways to approach the sensitive topic and what to avoid saying.

1. Do not say just relax or stop thinking about it.

Those words can be very hurtful, I know it can be unintentional but I can assure you when we started trying for a baby we were relaxed but after 12 months it was only natural to start worrying about it. Then when it becomes years, you start to think something is seriously wrong, and it consumes your life as you want answers. If it was as simple as just relax or stop thinking about it I’m pretty sure after 3+ years most people would conceive. For those reading and are dealing with infertility you can understand the month after month of disappointment, heartache and feeling of failure. 

2. Avoid comparing and try not to give advice.

Unless you have been in a similar situation giving advice can be frustrating, most people dealing with infertility have spent hours researching, seeing specialists, had many tests all of which are time-consuming and not to mention the financial strain. For us personally we have trust in both my natural fertility specialist and my Doctor at the fertility clinic, I feel they have our best interest at heart and I’m glad we have a wonderful team to help us make decisions based on our individual needs.

3. Pregnancy announcements

This can be a sensitive subject and I highly recommend if you have a friend dealing with infertility that before you announce the news publicly on social media or in a group text message, consider personally writing them a letter, email or make a phone call. Yes it is an exciting time, however it is very important to communicate with your friend one on one and let them know that you understand if they feel the need to distance themselves from you for a while. Express to them that your friendship is important to you and when they are ready to talk you will be there for them for support, please do not ignore them it will only make them feel more isolated.

4. Ask the question when are you going to have children? Or are you going to have any more children?

I have been asked this question or many of times, it’s not really something you should be asking unless someone chooses to talk about it, as you don’t know what everyone’s personal situation is. I have also known people who have had their first child fairly easily then suffered from secondary infertility where they had trouble conceiving their second. In that situation NEVER tell them anything along the lines of “well at least you have a child”. Don’t assume, stop and think twice before asking personal questions or when stating your opinion.

5. Whinging and complaining

If you have children be conscious how much you whine or complain about parenthood and understand those struggling with infertility would give up anything to have sleepless nights, no time to themselves for example. We desperately want what you have and would do anything to experience the highs and lows of becoming a parent.

You may be asking now, well what can I do? Best thing you can do is offer your support and ask your family member or friend how they are feeling. Most often than not they just want a listening ear, if they want advice they will ask for it.

Below I have links that may be helpful also.

http://lovelylittlelife-hannah.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/9-things-infertile-women-want-women.html?m=1

http://lifewiththehawleys.blogspot.com.au/2014/02/what-not-to-say-to-someone-struggling_24.html?m=1

http://www.popsugar.com/moms/How-Support-Someone-Going-Through-IVF-38109574

http://www.resolve.org/support/for-family–friends/infertility-etiquette.html

” To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan but also believe”- Anatole France

Xx Rosy

Preconception planning is one of the most important decisions prospective parents can make. I didn’t realise how important it was until about a year into trying for a baby, I just thought yeah I should do that but I can’t be bothered or didn’t want to waste another 6 months detoxifing and preparing, now I realise that 6 months is nothing really especially if it can improve the health of your future offspring.

Firstly I reduced my intake of coffee, alcohol and tried to eat healthy but I had one problem… my husband! I love him dearly but he was initially reluctant to make the change, therefore it was harder for me to implement healthy changes when the temptation of unhealthy foods was always there in the fridge or pantry, I remember him eating his daily eggs, bacon, eating chocolate and drinking alcohol. It was frustrating as I was trying my best and putting all the effort which made me feel even more isolated. My hubby couldn’t understand why I was moody or grumpy, but deep down I was struggling with the choices he was making, so I decided to make an appointment with a naturopath and nutritionist to get an outside opinion hoping he would listen to them instead of me nagging all the time and it WORKED! I was so happy, his eyes opened up to why he should make the changes to help our dreams come true, after all males contribute up to 50% genetics and can be one of the reasons behind infertility. After all it takes two to tango.

It has always annoyed me that all the emphasis is put on the woman to be healthy and all that she has to give up to have a child, there is such a lack of awareness of men’s health and how it can impact the health of their future child, conception, miscarriage and infertility. I feel there needs to be more awareness amongst men and the wider community about the importance of their health. One thing I do not agree with is when some men (not all) get drunk and they assume their pregnant partner will drive them home, I find it very disrespectful. I believe they need to pull their weight and show some responsibility and I understand that not everyone will agree with me, that’s totally fine it is my opinion and I’m entitled to it.

After our appointment with the naturopath we started to implement changes to our diet and lifestyle which included cutting out alcohol, coffee, sugar, diary & gluten, I will explain why and more in more depth later on. I was willing to try anything to have a baby, coffee was the hardest however it was only when I stopped I realised how hypo and anxious it made me, it didn’t agree with me at all and I was addicted. We commenced taking recommended herbal supplementation and started a detox program to help prepare our bodies, it made us feel so much better and as an added bonus we lost over 30 kg of weight between us.

My husband started to feel less bloated, no indigestion/reflux, his allergies reduced significantly, he went from taking one anti-histamine a day to just one for the entire grain harvest which was over a period of six weeks. Not only that his skin cleared up and had a nice healthy glow, he started to get comments on how he looked which encouraged him to keep going. I was feeling great too, initially cutting out gluten and dairy was daunting and didn’t know where to start but now we are so used to it we wouldn’t look back.

I love Gabriela Rosa’s motto “Act pregnant now to get pregnant”. Often people wait for a positive pregnancy test in order to stop drinking alcohol and start eating the right foods, however we need to implement these changes well before we even think of conceiving a child. If you have the opportunity to give your future offspring the best start to life why wouldn’t you?

Interesting fact I learnt is that the health of the future generations can be influenced by our grandparents, parents and our own health. Take a step today to help make the next generations as healthy as possible in order to help prevent health issues and diseases in the future. If we do not make changes now sadly infertility rates will continue to rise due to our increased exposure to environmental toxins, processed foods, drugs & alcohol.

 

 

PRECONCEPTION TIPS –

 1. Seek help from qualified health professional

I highly recommend making an appointment with a natural health practitioner or integrative doctor to undergo necessary tests to find out if you and your partner have any deficiencies or underlying health problems. If needed your practitioner will prescribe you with high quality supplements suited to your needs, please do not-self prescribe.

2. 12o days preconception  

Implement a minimum of 120 day preconception diet and exercise plan for both partners. It takes 120 days for the egg and sperm to mature, therefore you can improve both the egg and sperm quality dramatically as well as reduce the chances of miscarriage and pregnancy complications by making healthy changes to your diet and lifestyle.

3. Remove toxins from your home

Your home is one place you can have control over what you are exposed to, start by replacing chemical cleaning and personal skin care products with natural ones, just be aware and read labels as some that are labelled ‘natural’ are not necessary true to label. You can also get back to basics and make your own cleaning products using eucalyptus or tea tree oil as a natural antibacterial, bicarbonate soda & vinegar.

4. Eat a healthy diet

This includes eating a variety of organic vegetables, good quality lean protein, fruits, nuts & seeds. When buying meat choose grass-fed, free range or organic where possible to avoid exposure to chemicals & added hormones. I live in a rural area when I can not buy organic I thoroughly wash all my fruit and vegetables in filtered water & vinegar with an Enjo fabric cleaning cloth.

5. Drink filtered water

Install a 3 stage 0.05- 1 micron water filter system, we bought ours from www.aquaport.com.au or alternatively buy a ceramic filter with Royal Doulton filter www.southerncrosspottery.com.au by filtering your water you will reduce you exposure to contaminants such as heavy metals, bacteria & fluoride. Avoid plastic drinking bottles and instead choose stainless steel or glass.

6. Reduce caffeine and alcohol

Ideally both partners should stop drinking alcohol & caffeine as they both can cause negative effects on fertility by increasing inflammation with in the body and affect the overall sperm quality for men.

7. Avoid dairy and gluten

They can also cause inflammation in the body and exacerbate conditions such as endometriosis, PCOS, fibroids. Do not be concerned that you will not get enough calcium in your diet from consuming dairy, just make sure you include lots of dark green leafy vegetables, nuts and seeds as they are a wonderful source of calcium.

8. Remove trans fat from your diet

Trans fats are also known as partially hydrogenated oils. Commonly found in most processed packaged foods, baked goods, cakes, cookies and fried foods, they can cause inflammation, glucose and insulin sensitivity. Studies have linked increased trans fat consumption to increased risk of infertility.

9. Avoid refined sugar

Instead choose a healthier alternative such as rapadura sugar, coconut sugar, maple syrup, rice malt syrup and honey. Use dates sparingly as they are high in fructose and just be conscious of your overall sugar intake keeping in mind that even too much off the good stuff can have adverse effects on your health.

10. Daily exercise

Last but not least incorporate daily exercise, it is very beneficial for both for your mental and physical health. Your lymphatic system has no pump therefore exercise will help your body remove toxins as well as get fit and lose weight if needed. It doesn’t need to be anything strenuous, walking is a great form of gentle exercise.

Hope that gives you some guidance so you know where to start, just take one step at a time so you are not overwhelmed by all the changes and begin by cleaning out your fridge and pantry to avoid the temptation of any unhealthy foods.

“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step”.

 

Take care,

xx Rosy

 

 

Disclaimer: I am providing advice from personal experience only, I am not qualified health professional. Please do not make any changes with out seeking professional advice from your doctor or natural health practitioner.